There's this flagrant thinking when it comes to the dance community, that men are dogs and women are loose, and that it's a free for all when it comes to hooking up.
I don't know why it is so: Is it because they see her grinding against a man and then doing it minutes later with another, with a smile on her face. Is it the way the ladies dress? Tight jeans, tight skirts, tight tops, everything tight? Is it the way the guys hold them?
I was recently asked if women join this dancing scene to get laid. Not men, women he asked. I was like “YOH”.
Without a doubt, most guys do join this fraternity for uhh, closer experiences with the fairer sex, but ladies, there are a few of you that are thirsty and I like it… just saying.
Anyway, I don't see the problem with casual romances because that's bound to happen like it does at varsity and at work places, but branding the entire society as slutty – now that's just despicable. Not like me. It's just despicable.
So let me liberate your mind with three experiences I had.
After nearly a year of dancing with – let's call her Estelle – she says I smell nice. I'm like bitch what, ohk I did not say that, but I thought it. I mean I put in effort when I attend class and parties.
Anyway, for close to 300 days we chatted and there was no intention from my side. Or hers. Until that night. But it didn't just happen that night.
So to cut a long story short we had a two-month romance and that was that. She chose to be with another guy in the dance scene and I was like this muthafucka. Ohk she is not a mother but yes, I was upset for like five minutes.
Now the second one – let's call her Nina – showed interest from the first time we met. A friend that knew Nina, knew she was curious about me, and 'forced' me to dance with her. I did, her Kizomba basics sucked but that poor form came in handy later, if you know what I mean.
I invited her over for dinner, one thing led to another and I declared that I would like to have a regular arrangement. This lasted for a month, she wanted more than just fun and I chose to rather put a ring tone on my cell phone. (see what I did there)
The next episode is absolutely disastrous and as a man, I am ashamed of recalling this epic, epic failure.
So its tarraxha with – let's call her Delilah – at the rooftop, the next week we at it again and I notice she holds me closer. After a month I finally ask if she would be interested in seeing me outside of this lusty space. She said yes.
We had waffles but I ate most of the ice-cream, we kissed, she said she is not sure about me or her going down that night. I said ohk Thursday then, Delilah nodded.
I get to her place, condoms strategically placed, smelling good. Eish. It was a typically cold and dry winters evening, but she wasn't.
I left her place with no satisfaction, Just a strong desire and a quest brutally deflated. The temptation on the dance floor turned to denial in the lounge, so rude.
Because of Kizomba, and the fundamental that is the connection, I had and will have good encounters. But that intimate connection, that's reserved for a few. And it does not happen every week or month. It does happen though.
Do I have the right to label these ladies as sluts? Hell no, Delilah made me mad and I got no lust for her, and as much as I curse her for wasting my Spicebomb, she is and they are, by no means, promiscuous.
So, whether you looking from the outside in, or you're on the inside looking in, know this; slut shaming is for the naive. Women can do what men do, catch and release, and this is how it goes.