There are many good reasons why a man would abuse a woman, whether it’s emotional, physical or psychological, he always has a good reason to let her know who the boss is.
“I backhanded that bitch,” a former friend once said about how he disciplined his wife for smiling with another guy one time too often. Another guy I used to know berated his partner in front of friends, “Look at how you look, that’s a kak outfit”.
“I pay the rent here,” another said to his wife. Yes, he knew who was in control until he begged her to stay.
Men, we know that women give us shit, whether it’s your grandmother, mother, sister, daughter or girlfriend, this beautiful species comes with a built-in function of how to ‘make a man mad’ every day.
But we love them, don’t we? We have to, it’s our duty to love and protect those who are in our lives and those who we choose, or should I say those ladies who choose us to be part of theirs.
So why the abuse, the degradation, the brutal murder of this fairer sex?
I don’t know.
When it started, I don’t know. Will it stop, I hope so.
See there is no good reason, was and never will be to hurt a female.
Some men are just born with this understanding, my grandfathers, my father and some of my uncles and most of the friends, they know and do better, I’m thankful that they set such respectable precedents.
I had to learn this mentality cause I too am guilty of abuse. Her crime, rocking up to my rooftop with another person. The embarrassment, I said some harsh things, I should have… I’m glad I did not.
The thing is this, having this woman was not a problem despite the shit she gave me, not having her and seeing her with another, now that’s the real dilemma.
And as I see it, the problem that abusive men have or had with their women is that they don’t have “control” over this sentinel beings.
But, they are not ours to control, but to work with, live with, be happy with, as all humans should regardless of age, creed, colour or sex.
But no, the craving for that petty power is relentless. I see guys that don’t know how to Kizomba or Salsa or Bachata, they look hungrily at the ladies.
Some, after a few drinks, attempt to pull the women aside and if she shows him less than a smile, their lewd approach quickly turns to disdain, “fuck you bitch”.
They don’t realise that she is just there to dance, to have fun and to get that high from endorphins.
They also don’t understand that she allows me to get close to her, I am the lead, but I certainly need her permission to be that. And that’s what we as men should accept, to be that man, the man, somebody’s man, you need the approval of a woman.
But NO, when you don’t have what you think you ought to, then aggression and condescending remarks are the next natural steps.
And it’s natural yes, but not progressive, because as a man you never have, never will and don’t have the authority to tread on that lady.
In 1997 Tupac Shakur recorded these words:
And since we all came from a woman
Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman
I wonder why we take from our women
Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?
I think it’s time to kill for our women
Time to heal our women, be real to our women