Ladies, Ask A Man.

It’s the norm that ladies outnumber men at dance classes and parties. I’m not sure what the ratio is but as a lead for Kizomba, and sometimes Bachata and Cuban Salsa, I hardly get a chance to sit down.


Don’t wait, ladies, make that move.


But the ladies, sitting on the couch against the wall, standing, watching waiting. I can’t get to all of them as my favourites come first.

Some ladies even look disinterested, or maybe they lose interest as the beat goes on. That look of neglect does not belong in a space where physical activity is converted into endorphins.

What’s the solution then? It’s simple, ladies, just ask a man. Don’t stand there, go up to him and I can promise you that he won’t say no.

Now I know it’s a daunting task asking a lady to dance, especially when I started. My bald head gets hot, my palms are clammy and my heartbeat races until I can utter the words “would you like to dance”

It’s not that melodramatic actually, but it does take confidence and courage to step up to a woman and ask, and I can imagine the same applies to you lady. But you have to do it.

Sarah said: “I’m not as good as you and that’s why I don’t ask,” and that’s exactly why she should. The only way to improve your dancing is to dance more. So, in a world where women outnumber men your first task is to make that request.

A tap on the shoulder, a firm hold on the arm all coupled with a smile and of course making the request is as simple as it sounds.

Outnumbered again. 

And if he says no. Well then move on. I’ve been rejected and three seconds later given permission by another. That’s just how it goes. The worst rejection though is on the dance floor when she looks at you with incredulity after making a mistake (usually in salsa), but that’s another topic.

And look interested please, that sullen face with that bright red lipstick is just not appealing. Look as if you are enjoying the music, make eye contact with someone that moves smoothly and make your intention clear.

If he gets the wrong idea about you watching him, then well it’s his plight. You came to dance, so ask, get your groove on and before you know it you’ll be someone’s favourite and you won’t have to ask no more.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Prideel says:

    Too true. It was a big step for me when I started dancing to build confidence to ask someone to dance, and the first time asking someone I had never even met before was the most liberating. As women we are often taught that we must be patient and wait to be pursued, and asking for what you want is taboo. This often means you miss out on your favourite song because you waiting for someone to ask you. Social dancing is the best platform for gender equality where we ladies get to finally stretch that muscle we never knew we had, asking for something. Everyone gets to ask and everyone has a right to say yes or no. The more you ask, the more you meet new people, the more dance partners you will have in the long run.

  2. Shahied Joseph says:

    Awesome comments there P. 👌🏼

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