What you see is what you don’t get

Blonde hair, green eyes, slender body, shapely legs and a see-through skirt. From the front, she exuded class in that black outfit but the rear showed something not often seen on the streets of Joburg.

Yes, her derriere was exposed to all; given that her skirt was made of lace and that she wore a black, waist-high cheekster.

Men gaped, women too, an elderly lady’s face squirmed at the unmistakable crack shining through this black lace. Younger ladies took videos and the boys well, obviously, they snapped away too.

This lady– let’s call her Deborah – was oblivious to the commotion around us. As I led her forward, back and around, people’s faces grew from surprise to disgust to what the hell.

I came to Kizomba, so did she, but with an added benefit. I’m sure the lack of material helps cool her down quicker.

Most, or rather all of the comments and questions posed to me about Deborah were salacious. Yet this woman just did not give a shit about who said what. Wearing that outfit was bold and clearly, her confidence was or rather is sky high.

The guy that I assume she is with showed no signs of jealousy. Better than anyone else he knows he is going home with her and will get to see that Versace on the floor.

Well, I hope it’s Versace.

What’s this got to do with Kizomba?

When a new lady comes on the scene, like bees on a honeycomb, the boys buzz excitedly. Whether she is with her boyfriend or not they don’t care. They see her move, they see her enjoying herself and as if Kizomba is a spell, the boys are bound to approach.

This thinking is not only stimulated by Kizomba or Cuban Salsa or Bachata, a pretty face and PHAT booty are all a man needs to act on his primal instinct.

Thing is, they don’t see the end result of the night; they don’t see that Deborah is still going home with him despite what she revealed.

She gave you a little bit of her, to be nice, friendly, cause that’s what ladies do, they nice, it’s standard and compelling.

It does not mean she wants you. If she holds you close, laughs with you, looks into your eyes during a Kizomba session that is not compelling evidence to say she wants you. Don’t mistake her kindness for consent.

Most boys won’t get it though. Let him be that guy talking her ear hot, buying her drinks, thinking he is in with a chance, always taking chances.

Connection, my friends of Kizomba know, is different with each and every person. 99% of the time it’s a good feeling, few are awesome and there is the occasional bad dance, but it’s rare to get that take-me-now feeling.

Even if she’s wearing skinny jeans, a skin tight mini or a Versace lace skirt… what you see is what you don’t get.

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