Respect Me Too

My red boots crunched loudly on the gravel on my way out of Arts On Main. She looked back. I tried to walk lightly but no, that sound seemed to echo. She was about two meters ahead of me as we stepped on to the pavement, she looked back again.

At a party
This picture has nothing to do with my story. I need new pics.

I crossed the road and walked on the other side, and a few seconds later she did too. Again she looked back, not once but thrice, as we stepped in the same direction.

Luckily my car was parked in front of hers, I unlocked the door and watched her. She turned around again.

What was this woman thinking? Her look was not one of interest, but of being cautious and scared. I can’t blame her though, will all the atrocities being committed, this woman, like most, has to be careful.

I felt bad though, awkward, that she would be wary of me? Anyway…

Recently I read a few articles on how women have to face abuse, assault, being approached by random men, and just being hollered at. Daily.

And who is to blame?

Men. Men have allowed this to go on for far too long and with social media giving a voice to the women who were violated, we still don’t understand the damage that’s done, and we continue to add to.

For women to validate #MeToo via social platforms is tremendously brave. They let us know that they are victims, they are survivors, but truly they are heroines.  I respect that courage.

Because of Kizomba, I am able to hold many ladies close to me. At least three times in a week I’m in the presence of fine women and the fact that they allow me to get so close is enough.

Some guys though take it a step too far. I know of a guy that aggressively accosted a young lady in a parking lot after a Kizomba class. They danced well together, and that was it for her. For him, it was a sign that she was interested.

She was not. He offered to walk her to her car. He had ill intentions. Pinning her against a wall, in a parking lot, that’s disrespectful, to say the least. This was not the first incident I heard of, and I know it won’t be the last because well, some guys are just stupid.

If I believed that a good dance is a sign of interest, then I would have been rejected at least three times on any Sunday. That is if I made a move.

I’ve written about connection before, and if you as a guy think well this is it, she wants me, rather ask before acting on impulse. Essentially the woman is just enjoying the dance and does not want more.

Ladies, I can testify that most guys in the dance community are decent; decent in the sense that they won’t want more after a sensual dance.

There are a few who take chances, so, therefore, I don’t blame you for looking at me that way.


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