Insecurity; Strangling Expression.

I can see the anger in his focused eyes. My right hand on his girlfriend’s back, just below her shoulder. I slide my hand down to her waist, he grimaces.


Next thing he pulls her away from me. I smile. I see you. Insecure man-child. When we resume doing the Rueda de Casino, I pull her back. She was my partner before the lesson stopped for a brief demo.

He looks tense, she feels it. Something ain’t right. This is not fun.

At rooftop, this man-child looks on uncomfortably as I Kizomba with his partner. She too is uncomfortable. I don’t enjoy the dance. I won’t ask her again.

I look at them: losers. Dancing with each other only? Losers I say because they fail to grasp the basics of connection, fun, expression, and respect.

Another man-child tells me I disrespected him when I ask his wife to dance. I don’t understand, she says: you should have asked him if I can dance with you.

I’m perplexed. He curses me in Portuguese. I don’t understand. He says don’t disrespect my culture and our music. What do you mean I ask. He says I’m from this place. What place? Angola. I say: don’t be so insecure. I walk away. Another Loser. Another?

Kizomba, Cuban Salsa and Bachata do not belong to Angolans, Cubans or Dominicans respectively. They started it, shared it, and I am grateful for their invention and generosity.

Your girlfriend and wife may ‘belong’ to you, but they are not a fixed property.

And when they enter a place like rooftop, surely both of you are there to dance, to enjoy the music, to experience something or someone new. Obviously in a happy, respectable manner.

To demonstrate such authority over a woman is similar to JZ believing he has total confidence from parliament members. We saw the numbers.

Anyway. Ladies; you have a voice, good intentions, desires, why are you allowing these insecure men to strangle you?

Dance is an expression of body and mind, it’s also a connection of joy. But if your emotion is stifled, keep it.

I’m not here for half hearted connections, I’m here for fun, but if yours is reserved for one man only, do me a favour and dance in the four corners of your home.

Insecurity is a jailer that will withhold expression temporarily. Losers, you are warned.

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