Not to be mistaken for “Murder on the Dance Floor” – in fact, it’s quite the opposite of that Sophie Ellis-Bextor hit. Instead of slaying the dance floor with someone, some just simply avoid someone altogether.

Here’s the thing: you, me, we all have our prejudices. Whether it’s about someone’s dance ability, height, “academy” affiliation, or even a personal gripe, bias is part of the dance scene. It’s as inevitable as a poorly curated Kizomba set at Sunkissed.

Recently, I had an experience that reignited my bias. Picture this: a compact club, 10 people (yes, I counted), five guys and five girls. And yet, Madam Elus (we’ll call her that) decided she’s “not ready” to dance. Not once. Not twice. But THREE times. Ohk not in one night but this happened at a few parties. 

Now, when I head to an SBK party, my priorities are clear:

1. Dance.

2. Socialize.

3. Enjoy a cold beverage (preferably during that Tarraxha set)

But Madam Elus? She was there to… chill? And hey, chilling is cool. But when you keep hitting pause while everyone else is hitting play, the dilemma might not be with me, but with thee.

So what’s the solution? Easy. I shall avoid the Elus. (See what I did there?) Instead, approach the ladies who actually want to dance. Thankfully, in my experience, the odds are ever in my favor. Statistically speaking, I have a 99% success rate, but those stats are based solely on my experience mos (see what I’m doing here).

But enough about my testy thoughts…

I’ve heard careless whispers, nay, full-blown monologues, about people refusing to dance with others for reasons like, “She’s not on my level,” or “He’s too stiff.” 

Classic Backstage melodrama, right? One guy even declared that certain queens of the scene don’t stoop to dance with the so-called commoners because they are not good enough leads. My question to him (and others of his ilk):

How are the “commoners” supposed to get better if the so-called royalty refuses to dance with them?

Niks…

Then there’s Gerhardus. Honest Gerhardus. He’s that unknown dancer who openly admits he won’t dance with strangers. And you know what? That’s okay, Gerrie (may I call you Gerrie?). You, like Madam Elus, deserve your own little dance floor, maybe with a neon sign to highlight your availability, and to whom!

At the end of the day, bias on the dance floor is as complex as a sensual bachata body roll (so unnecessary). It’s (bias – not the overtop body roll) something we all have, and whether it’s good or bad depends entirely on the context. 

I mean, dance floors should be spaces of inclusion, improvement, and most importantly, joy. So maybe next time, instead of leaning into these biases, lean into the music and just… lose yourself to dance.

My question is how are you letting your bias shape your experience, and more importantly, are you willing to syncopation past it?