It was 2013, and it was a cool autumn afternoon in Cape Town, but inside Buena Vista it was balmy as men and women gyrated to Salsa beats. It was my first time seeing such a hodgepodge of people dancing so rhythmically, so naturally.

I was in awe of this Salsa thing, there was one skinny lady that stood out, she was without a doubt the prettiest there. And there was this guy in an oversized t-shirt, 501 jeans and tekkies (running shoes) that was a size or two too big for him.

But this guy could move, and the women he danced with clearly enjoyed his spin and dip routine. I was in awe of this unfashionable, yet smooth dancing gent.

I would see him again in 2017, this guy with the big tekkies, and on a few other trips to Cape Town. I’m not in awe anymore, I know better leads, just saying.

Anyway, on my visits to Cape Town, I would notice the same guy (and his clique) dancing wherever there’s an SBK party. It seems as if men are allergic to the social dance scene. There are always new ladies and more ladies than guys, but that’s a Joburg thing too, so gents, we are needed.

But the fact that there are these same gents tells me that they are not spreading the word when it comes to SBK, and keeping the fun to themselves. I mean when I’m there, I get a distinct feeling that I’m not welcome. And in fact, I saw these gents looking my way once (actually more than once), clearly, they were not impressed with my Bachata or Salsa. *We all know I’m a Kizomba aficionado*

There are gents like Thabo, Angus, William and Riaan who are all cool and friendly, and the ladies always are welcoming, I mean there’s a lack of leads. But it is those well-known faces that are stifling the spirit of dance.

People are always looking for new entertainment, for new things to do, to dance, and with social media promoting SBK classes and events regularly, it still is limited to a select few, and in the mother city, it is outwardly apparent.

Gents, you never heard of SBK because the chances are that someone you know does not want you to know. It’s a narrow-minded aspect that is stifling the dance community and although the guy with the big tekkies loves dancing, his lack of sharing has been and is a harmful act.

Don’t be that guy, don’t wear oversized tekkies. Spread the love. mos.

FYI. These are my opinions and if you feel the eina, feel it. I’m not your daddy.